Beauty

(Eng) Beauty

Genetic lottery. This is what we count as beauty. It is beauty. I can not say it is not. I will not create counter arguments. They may say internal values, character, duty and dicipline is part of person and they are us all together. Yes this is also right. Beauty is not just one, people may have several beauty. If they are together it is great. It would be a wonderful composision for any person. We all want all together. When i write we i feel like i share the sin, i share guilt. I always prefer to use we for uncomfortable things. Just to share the mess and carry less. Now lets say, I want all, I have always wanted more. I may know it is immossible and i will die before reaching goal. But i want all beauty together. I want more and more. Sounds ridicilous, but i know it. I am like you, if you have two options you always ask a better one. All together. Yes i want all beauty and and i am not willing to accept something with less beauty. Maybe i will accept my mistake and go with regular. Maybe worse than regular. Maybe i just need to go. Whatever it is, i have to go. I don't know. Am i lucky enough, do i have that courage to obtain something. I don't think. Not yet. I am still weak, still far from my goals.

I am trying to be good by doing things good for me and future. Maybe i will reach somewhere but not sure. I need more actions and development in social skills to get a life i want. A good day means it is with good things. I can count this days as good. But you know we always want more. It has to be better. It is not that good. It is not like i imagined. Maybe it will never be. Maybe there is no good days out of dreams. They are just dreams.