Stoic-37 Impulse and seek

(Eng) Stoic-37 Impulse and seek

The topic 36 was about impulses and control. Which we already wrote in some other topics. It says that we have people around us soaring highs and crushing lows. This the core problem for my family and much more others. This kind of people will seek top-high and waste all they have. If you are with them and even you are not part of it you will lose. Everthing, all you have can be destroyed by this kind of poeple. They don't know what kind of impulse they have and how to filter them to choose the right one. I hate this approach, stupid impulses should not have this much effect on our lives. There is no justice in life, it is not fair. Totally unfair. I am tried of these people. Terrified for their next step to use every chance for an idea, impulse they have. Total distruction of mind and life. Having a wasted life is hard. So hard. I am sorry for losing all. Now trying to protect me. There is no escape until end. End is too far. I don't know how to get calm, how to control this anger, how to sleep in peace. I don't know. Today I had my first white hair. Goodbye old memories, goodbye running like a crazy, googbye whistle on the sky, goodbye wind over the bike. Goodbye my dear friend, goodbye. We lost. There is a note for Roosevelt. They say he was driven by something he has no control. It was addiction to work and activity. I think i understand him. I think he was escaping from something and that was the way. As he says 'Being man in the Arena'. Seems crazy, seems stupid, seems endless. Book section 37 says this is wrong. But i understand, it was not choise. It was soul trying to espace. But if you don't have something distroying everything, eating you from inside you will never understand. I did nothing wrong, didn't hurt anyone. I didn't deserve that. And there is no but. There is no espace, try to calm my dear old friend. Try to forget, you know i am good in forgetting. I will forget by default. My body knows the way, it will forget all. All i have, with its beauty. I am sorry my dear kind friend. Sorry.