Stoic-33 Not slave mind

(Eng) Stoic-33 Not slave mind

Being independent and self-sufficient is biggest goal for most of us. We have these dreams and goal but don't know the source of idea. Are we going to be happy because of us? Sad because of us? Who can decide our happiness and sadness. It is sound stupid and we fight to get the control. I am in same way, trying to hit these goals. But i think most of our push may be part of shit plan keeps us out of life. In the end we reach to same point. Most of us will have a happy life in last years. In happiness there will be not much difference. But this is just a possibility.

When i watch old people they are silent. I don't know which one is full of regret, which one is hopeless, which one is happy. They don't talk much and we do assumptions by looking their lives. Compare and grade. I think most of us will have a wasted life. We will be end of one journey, just one. The possibility of other options will eat us. We will always wonder for changes in past, regrets in past, fears and mistakes in past. If you are in the end, you will just have a past. Not future. The present you have is the only thing you live with. No options, no changes.

When they put their head to pillow, which people is happy for this life ? Which one thinks about memories. Most memories will be disturbed. They will never know the real taste of memory. I guess most people are trying their best to clear history, regenerate the memories in a way they can cope with. With reality, with the stupidity no one can survive. For me, it seems like i chase the freedom. Trying to get a warranty for future. But in future, i may have a life out of path and balance. And full of regret for paths i didn't check. But i don't think so. If i give up, everyday i will punish myself for giving up and reaching any kind of problems. Lets see.