Freedom and lose

(Eng) Freedom and lose

It was winter lost time. I was spending all day in library and doing interviews in several places all around city. When I think about these days it feel to far, too strange and too powerful. How come I kept fighting? What was the motivation? How come I survived in too strange situations? Calling them strange for not hurting anyone. But I know how they were. I probably will forget like I did for all bad memories. Actually I don't forget, but brain blocks the feelings from that time to come surface. Remembering too quick and jumping to another place to stay away from risk and damage. I will never be able write about them. Nobody will never know. Maybe I will find a foreigner and tell the story and let him go. I can't live with it. Everyday I am thinking about that days. Still don't understand how was it. How I managed! How! What was the thing kept me alive!

It seems like I was lucky. Could end up losing all life and projections. I have to write about it but not here. I have to burn it after writing. Can't dare to face it.

I was going to write about something totally different. The fight of freedom and losing it. The feeling I have for the society, folks. There is no freedom for us anymore. Fight ended. We all lost the hope for a freedom. Life of nations are too long with thousands of struggles. Some nations will never reach peace. They already lost several times. In terrible conditions, will never have ability to win against power. Power brings more power, wins brings more win. And all was accumulated. Rest in sorrow and your small peace my people. Life is too big.