Forgiven

(Eng) Forgiven

I read a book lately and learned that I have to forgive before they die. Otherwise it will be impossible to forgive and living with me forever. And yesterday I learned that forgiving them is also helpful in daily life, in relationships. Seems like it is a hidden trail just some people has discovered and learned. It is still not that clear but i believe that it is correct. Forgiving is the thing i need. And I relate what they did, how they ended up like this. The situation, the history, the loneliness, the pain, the betrayel, the suffer all were set, they gave this shape to you. It is like random product fromm oven of life. As it's always been.

The things i remember as pain, still are there, still pain, still wrong. I still don't think i deserved any wrong doing from any person. And when get i don't forget. I wish i was more relax and forgiving, not carrying mistakes made to me for that long. I am not sure about core problem but it seems like if you put crazy effort and life to do things correct, to help and you get pain in return you forge it with anger, with regret, pain not keep it forever.

It is mostly impossible to forget things but forgiving is not forgetting. I will remember, but i will not care that much. I will let my brain release the ropes. Let it slip. Because i know they are basic people like me, and they can't control the life and their experience with it. As i did many mistakes, as i broke hearts, as i failed in many things, they failed. They were not lucky as i was. They lost big. I wish they hadn't that painful life but it is almost done. I wish them a good rest. I forgive.